sometimes i wish i could be more selish.
i wish i could tell people how i really feel.
i wish i could tell you that i want it that way.
i wish i could be mean and horrible to
scream my head off at the things that make
me angry, sad and disappointed.
i wish i could. but i cant.
all i could do is just to keep it in.
hide all that i truely feel and think inside.
and late at night, when no one is looking
i'll hide in the corner of my room to let it all out.

mummy always tells me that
its better to let ourselves get hurt then create
trouble or make others unhappy.
but what if, i'm really unhappy.
or that i'm so upset that i can no longer take it
upon myself. that i have to burst the bubble.
to let others know what they've done are
hurting me.
i should get an emmy for best actress.
i'm brilliant for hiding my sadness/disappointment.

dont push me to my wits end.
dont force me to a corner.
because you wont like it when i rebel.
you wont like it when i turn against you.
and when i'm all drained, i will hunt you down.

all i want right now, is to be next to you.
no place else. just right next to you.
you can choose to ignore me or hug me.
but i'll stay still. very still.
knowing that you're there is good enough for me.


/the heart knows no emotions tonight.